Sometimes empty spaces can seem daunting. When I was in college, I always used to try to set my entire room up in one go, despite the inevitable fatigue and hunger and frustration that would set in after five straight hours of rearranging and decorating. But after that one great burst of energy and work, the space was mine, and I could live in it.
About a week ago I moved into a new apartment, and I had the same impulse. I unpacked my books, lined up my rocks on the windowsill, and tacked my postcards to the walls. My room was ready long before my roommates had even began unpacking. Call it what you will: anxiety or a need to nest, I just can't seem to insert myself into a space gradually. In order for my mind to be all there, my objects have to be all there and in their place.
At this point I'm trying desperately to resist psychoanalyzing myself, but I almost always cave into that desire, and there may be some sense in it this time. I am certain that I share this fear of the empty and unfinished with a lot of others, mainly because it so often carries over into the greater arc of life. Our lives are perpetually and forever unfinished, and, as humans, that is the last thing we would like to admit. I will be the first to say that I have no idea what I was placed on this Earth to do, and that I will probably never have a true idea.
So I took it upon myself to go downstairs into the common space, which is vastly unfinished, and just sit there and notice what I felt. At first, I was overwhelmed by all of the things that weren't there. And then, once that passed, sitting there started to feel nice. I started to notice the way the light was slanting, and the nice cherry color of the floors, and after awhile, almost wished it would stay that way. Which is the same way I felt when I first published this site. Like it was a blank slate. I have challenged myself to turn my fears and apprehensions into excitement and anticipation, to turn all that I cherish and admire on a daily basis out into the world. Not an easy feat, and a messy one at that, but here's to new beginnings.
Some of my essentials for a stress-free transition to a new space:
PF Candle Co. Mini Soy Candle in Sweet Grapefruit
Aquarian Soul Designs Catcus Flower and Quartz Essence Spray
Moon Rivers Naturals Good Vibes Oil
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